well kiddos

Its time to celebrate .. Fourth of July weekend marks a year since i've been single. Okay so i havent eactly been lonely but i have yet to give away the title of boyfriend or girlfriend.
So im off to celebrate. Going to be gone till tuesday ...

A to Z of freaky fettishes.....

okay some may not be so freaky or even a fettish for that matter ... and in fact it may be more of a check list or wish list ....but on with the show.
Anonymous- check .. i like not knowing his name or him knowing mine
Anime-as in anime porn ...check
Anal-heehee hee ..wouldnt you like to know
Bondage-(including blindfold)- check, wish for more
Beach sex- check
Costumes- Nope- thats one for the wish list
Dominatrics-check --was sub would like to be dom for the right slave **wink wink**
Emergency vehicles-- oohhh to get fucked in an ambulance .. that would be cool.
Foot fettishes- check ... love a guy with a foot fettish
Group sex- check
H --- H H H .. cant think of anything for H
Interracial-check .. though i have yet to meet a greek guy
Jocks- check
Jail sex- wish- is it wrong to wanna have prision sex?? But not real prison chics but like porn video prison chics. I would love to break the law with Brianna or Jenna
Kinky sex- check...but what really qualifies as kinky now a days
Lesbein- check
Limo sex - wish
Midgets - pass however i would love to see midgit stripping
Nude beach - check
Nude tag - check
Nude painting --- wish .. i need an artist that can use my body as a canvas
Oral - check
Orgy - check
Public sex - check
Phone sex - check
Peeing - i actually just got asked to pee for a guy. he wants to watch me. Now i have pissed in public and have even been watched .. but to know that a guy is getting off to it might take a minute to think about.
Q: cant think of a Q but here is another P - Probing. As in anal probing the dude. I was also asked to take a guy from behind while strapped on. I thought too long about it and he found someone else.
Rough sex- check
Rubber suits - (liquid latex) - wish -- that would be fun
Swingers club - check
Toys - check
Threesomes - check
U: (is there anything for U)
Voyerism- check .. i love it
W
X
Y
Z
ummm... i think we need to come up with some more fettishes and freaky shit.

So how did it come about???

I got home from work to find my electricity had been shut off. I paid my bill. Well what i thought was my bill. Apparently i was 70 bucks short. And they shut me off. Damn those people at CP&L ..... self rightous service people ...
Oh it wasnt that dramatic .. i made the payment and was told it would take 24 hours to get turned back on. So i called A up...
"hey guess what? my fuckin electric got shut off!"
Him: "what? really??"
Me: "yea ..it sucks"
Him: "i'll be over in a bit"
I had laundry to do. I found some batteries and got a radio working .. and took a load to be washed. I laid around. By the time my clothes had dried A called back, "still no electric?"
Me: " nope"
him: "you stayin there tonight?"
Me: "yup, thats the plan"
Him: "you hungry? im on my way"
Me: "Nope, not really and okay be careful"
When he arrived i hadnt told him that i had already made the payment. Didnt feel i needed to. But then he took the situation into his own hands and i just hadnt the heart. I felt that he seemed to find the oppurtunity to play hero .. and i didnt want to take that from him.
Him: "so how much do you need to get it going? couple of hundred bucks?"
Me: "no... i was just 70 bucks short" (and i laugh)
Him: "okay done... what about rent? is it due yet?"
Me: "Next week... im fine with rent."
Him: "and cable? gas? water? do you need money to pay those?"
Me: "nope .. all taken care of... " (i couldnt help but smile .. he was so cute taking charge like that)
so then we sat and talked .. laughed and joked. It was a great night.
Then came time for bed .. we both took a cold shower to cool off our skin. My windows were open and for the first time i became aware of the street noise and lights that come through at night. It was nice. We talked a few moments longer and he reached over to hug me. We kissed. It wasnt long before he found his way between my legs. Licking and stroking me. I felt my skin begin to heat up. We rolled over each other .. i am now staddling his face and taking his rod into my mouth. The sweat begins to build on our skin. There is a light breeze blowing into the room. I shiver as it hits my skin. After my first orgasm i climb between his legs and continue to suck him off. i also begin to play with his balls. A is a simple man when it comes to sex .. we dont experiment too often .. but tonight .. i thought i would at least try. I let a finger find its way between his ass and to his hole. I apply a bit of pressure and he moans. after some time i can feel his cock getting harder in my mouth. I start to climb over him and tell him to fuck me... he stops me .. and tells me not to stop sucking him. He then says, "dont quit on what could be the best blow job i ever had"
i think to myself .. Could be?? is this a challenge?? so i resume my position.. and take him into my mouth again. i begin to search out his ass again. When i find it i apply more pressure and let my finger start to slip in. He moans. His hips are now starting to buck as he fucks my mouth .. i can feel his cock gettting ready to cum. i slide my mouth off his and swirl my tongue around the tip ...........he is ready .. I pinch the end of his dick and he twitches. "i need to cum"
i say, "not before you fuck me"
he pushes me onto the bed and onto my knees. He enters me and starts to fuck me hard. I can feel him starting to cum.. I love that feeling. It always makes me cum too. we are completely soaked with sweat and now sticking to the sheets. we head to the shower to rinse off .. this time together. Once the water cooled our skin we were ready to heat up again. he took me from behind and the water running down my body while he fucked me was amazing. I came.
Then off to bed. He woke up before i did... when i found my way to the living room i was given a debit card and a piece of paper with a pin number. He said, "take what you need and get it all paid off..."
awww... to be a kept woman ..
i took 80 bucks .. i didnt want to crush the dream of him being my hero ..
Ill give it back on Monday .. enough time for him to feel as if he really did help me out in my hour of need.
Is that wrong???

And They're Off ....

A taking the lead with a smart thinking call to my boss the night i was way to drunk and wouldnt make it to work at 7 am. Saving my job. Oh good move.
Ex-V still struttin along hanging in, but three legged and blind .. he soon dropped off the track. (heehee) P finds his way into the race. Slow start but a crowd favorite being 6 ft tall with blue eyes. Slow at take off but capable of keeping up with the race. L jumps in and quickly gains on A. P is no longer a prospect. Oohh .. tough call for the judges. Only the Top 2 can make the finals. L now taking the lead. Blue-eyed blond with a steady job and good income willing the support the judge. And the crowd goes wild. A moves aside, steadys his moves. Uh-oh and L takes a fall. He's hurt and out of the race .. Damn what a loss. A is back on top. Now a few flash in the pan cuties take the track. Mo-Money, the red headed cutie that rides spinners, rides spinners... just doesnt have what it takes to ride in this race. Little man M just cant get it right. Too much luggage is pulling him back. Ohh and he is out. Virgin S accidently found his way onto the track due to a drunken night and now eagerly waits at the side lines. Sorry Virgin S .. no training wheels in this race. Hot trottin Danger comes from behind and whats this .. he brings along a Mare to bribe the judges ... great move .. but cant stick for the long run. oh ... what a loss .. wish we could keep the mare. L making an occasional appearence just doesnt have the talent anymore. Making room for No Bulls, casually coming onto the track .. he is another crowd favorite. 6ft 4 and look at the talent in those hands. Whew... gonna take a moment for the judge to pass this up. Another one that cant stick.
Oh and the race seems to be coming to an end. A still in the lead .. casually keeping his cool and taking his time making rounds. Baby-daddy making an appearence and has caught the attention of the judge. He even has a couple of pony's riding along with him. Tough call on that move.... He is pleasing the crowd with his attentiveness, eagerness, and sensitive attitude. But wait .. oh no .. and he is off the track .........whats this .. in the back ground .. oh and its P making his way through the track .. (wow and judge didnt even know he was still in the race.)
And he is gaining on A ... sincere and loving .. P is now trying to take the lead.
They are neck and neck .. how will it all end?
A with his big move .............. paying the judges electric bill and even offering to pay her rent .. and its over ..
We have a winner!!!! and the crowd goes wild.
(its a sad sad way to look at my love life and its events with in the last year
SAD and very very funny!!!)

I just feel ...

so naked today. So exposed.
A stayed with me last night. I forgot that it was Sunday night and I volunteered to picked him up. (mostly cause i didnt want him driving around drunk and tired from the beach) We went to bed last night not worried about a thing and this morning i realized It was Monday. DAMN!!! I was left to rush around to take him home before work. It wouldnt have been so bad except, he was being nice and grabbing all my things while we headed out the door and he forgot my cell phone. Now i feel so empty.
So here i am wondering how a stupid cell phone can make me feel as if i missing out. I keep thinking im going to miss an important call or something. An important call that i wouldnt have been able to take even if i had it with me. so why do i feel exposed?
Today is what "the monday's" are all about.
haha ... "the monday's" ........................ i hate that expression. "you got a serious case of the monday's" I'm not sure what movie it came out on .. but it annoyed me then and it annoys me now. and yet i find it funny that it popped in my head today.
Aside from missing my cell phone i feel as if i just finished a boxing match. No correction, i feel as if i just lost a boxing match. My left eye is hurting and almost swollen, my hands hurt, and my knee is sore. what kind of shit did A do to me last night?
Crazy ...............................................

HER world is flat......

my friend's boyfriend is having trouble. Girlfriend is complaining that he works too many hours. So i ask .. and what do you do? Electrician. Good job? He says, "yes"
I say, "pays well?"
He says, "yes... 20 bucks an hour with a raise coming in a couple of months"
I say, "so whats the problem?"
She says, "he works from 8 am to 8 pm ... sometimes 6 days a week."
I say, "And??? its 20 bucks an hour .. steady work and he doesnt even have a degree? You dont work ... who is suppose to support the two of you?"
She wants him home more.... he says that he cant support her, her son, and himself if he takes a pay cut and other jobs he qualifies for will only pay up to 12 bucks an hour with the same amount of hours.
True ... i agree .. i wish i could find a guy willing to work and can get 20 bucks an hour ----- steady work.
So he pulls me aside .. "what is wrong with her .. am i asking for too much wanting to keep this job??"
I say, "nope ... listen kid .. you've been in the military .. gone to war .. you have seen what the world is on both sides.................. you have been on your own and supported yourself ... you know that only money will make the world go round. SHE ... still believes that all you need is love .. Love will get us through???? Its like the world is still flat according to her .. "
Reality is .. that as much as she wants him to be there with her .. if she isnt contributing to the household .. should she be complaining about the hours he works??
He is going to check out a place that i use to work at ... I was shocked that she supported it ... The company was assembly work .. 12 hours a day .. 7 days a week with only 3 days off a month guaranteed. Good money .. but a hell of a lot of hours .. (the hourly base pay is only a few bucks over min wage.... so it takes all those hours to make the check look good.)
Oh well .. i smiled .. wished him well .. I think she is pissed that i supported him instead of her ..
Girl -------------- stop complaining at least he works ..

Party Party ... Puking....

what a way to spend a friday night. A girl from work had a pool party. I wansnt planning on getting in the pool. Just some drinks and then head home. Nope arrive around 830 ... buzzed by 9. It was good. Then we went pool side. Water in front of me .. bottle beside me. I got thrown in the pool..............in jeans ... not a nice way to enjoy a pool but okay.
The night continues with water volley ball and drinks. The hostess is drinking her ass off.
She is hot too. Wearing a thin black bikini bottom and a white cut off tshirt with nothing underneath. She is showing it all off and everyone at the party is enjoying. She is drunk. Her hands running all over me. She is straight .. what is it with straight people becoming gay when they are drunk? She starts to kiss my neck and touch me every where ..
Then she steps out of the pool and falls ... down for the count.
I laugh and say goodbye to my buzz. Well it was fun while it lasted.
I get out of the pool and help her to her room. where she stripped off her clothes for me,
Yea like im finding that at all sexy .. i put on the toilet to wait for me to help her shower up .. .when i get back .. she yells at me .."hey dammit .. i poopin"
i laugh .. yea ... what a night. when she is done i help her into the shower ...
she falls .. i help her clean up and put her to bed...
oh what a night ..
oh well .. the rest of us ended the night at IHOP ..

Goin fishin tonight .. woohoo ..

My 2nd attempt

I am Not Dead

Death exhales his breath on me
He left his horrid stench
It will be months before I live again
But I know I am not dead
The blades of sin have pierced my skin
Allowing the blood of remorse seep down
The continuous beats of hatred
Echo without sound
I gasp for one more breath of air
As the evil is no longer fed
I am weakened to my knees
But I know I am not dead
Death corrupts my thoughts
It taints my every move
It’s no longer worth the fight
If there is nothing left to prove
At times I am over powered
Defeated by the wicked beast
Succumbing to the thoughts before me
He enjoys the psychological feast.
Tempted by the sweet illusions
Prisoner of the life I’ve led
Everyday slowly corrupting
But I know I am not dead.
The stench completely engulfs me
Masked by erroneous perception
Habitually the sin is committed,
Evil awaits his collection.
Erosion has begun with in me
Addictions cover the pain
The glimmering eyes have faded
They have sunken behind the shame.
Adventure opened the door
Compulsion controls my head
Fighting to break the cycle
I know I am not dead.
It will be months before I live again
Yearning for a ray of light
The war may be over
But there’s a battle still to fight.
Courage will lead me forward
Abandonment of the path I’ve led
Struggling for one more breath of air
For I know I am not dead.

Happy Fathers Day!!!

I awoke this morning feeling good. Its fathers day and a week since i last spoke to mine. I hit the shower and dressed. I left early to pick up tacos and see my dad. I figured an hour before mass. it will give us a chance to talk. Tell him how much i love him, miss him, wish we could talk. Our relationship has always been strained but we struggle through it.
Dad, i miss you. I know we can talk at any moment but we never do. Dad, i need you. To know that we arent strangers in the same family. How ever it was that we got here, we dont need to stay at this place, frozen in time. Dad, i need to know that you love me for me. Understand that it actually hurts when i call or stop by to visit you only speak of my half sister. You never ask about me, my job, my life, always about her. How is she, where is she, what does she have to say and when i say i havent spoken to her.. you rush me off as if i was a messenger. It hurts to know that when you do ask about me it always about me having a boyfriend or when am i going to get married. Do i not exist without a boyfriend. Am i not worthy if a guy isnt by my side. I am single and intend to stay that way till i find the right person. Asking what is wrong with me doesnt help things. Do you understnad ... you left my mom before i was born ... was it your intention to also leave me? Its been 28 years dad... can we move on from here. I need a relationship with you. To understand myself more... to complete myself. I have made a life for myself and a good life at that... but i dont want the little time we have left together to be spent so far apart.... can we fix it. It cant be too late....
So many things to say ..... so many thoughts rushing through my head. ....
Not a word was spoken............he wasnt home.
When i finally did find him, he asked "how was Jo". (my half sister) "i dont know dad.. havent spoken to her", i replied.... "oh okay well talk to you later". He hung up ... "happy fathers day"
The cycle continues.
I have felt empty all day. Not too much to do when you cant do anything.

Tips:

How to keep a guy....................
(to be said right before sex)
Him: should i wear a condom
You: Why, you cant get pregnant from anal

How to loose a guy.................
(to be said right after sex)
There is no easy way to say this .....................
what was your name again???

and so it begins....

"im getting close," i say.
Trying to whisper in his ear. "keep fucking me, please, im going to cum"
He stops. Pulls away from me and says, "wench, did i say you can cum?"
He is slowly pumping into my pussy, keeping me on the edge.
I look into his eyes, he gives me a slight smile.
"No, my lord. you did not"
He smiles and leans to my ear, "if you want me to stop just say it"
"i will my lord".
He leans over the bed and pulls out a leather whip. "wench you will be punished now."
"yes my lord"
He turns me over and rubs my ass, my pussy is still dripping. He begins to whip the leather against my skin. I gasp. "no sounds wench or i will continue to spank you, do you understand?"
"Yes my lord"
One swat for almost cumming and one swat for gasping. He leans over and kisses my tender skin. "im going to fuck you now, you will not cum until told, do you understand me wench?"
"yes my lord"
His mouth and tongue quickly lick my pussy lips before he pulls himself up and enters me again.
I struggle to keep from moaning. He hears me and swats my ass again as his cock enters my pussy. "No noise!!"
"forgive me, my lord" I continue to feel the whip smack against my ass. Each times a little harder than before.
He tells me to talk dirty for him. "Oh my lord, i love that cock of yours. Please keep fucking me"
I can feel myself getting close again, I ask him to allow me to cum. "no wench!! Its not time"
He turns my body over again and then leans over to pull out a leather stap in which he ties my arms above my head and to the headboard. Then a leather blind fold that he slides over me eyes.
"your pussy is dripping and i can tell you were about to cum, bad bad girl!! your punishment will continue!"
He runs the handle of the whip down my body and then a quick swat to my tummy. He continues this tease, the handle runs over my stomach and then between my breast, he whips, the leather straps hit against my tits. Again, down my stomach between my legs, the whips smacks against my thighs. Then he smacks against my pussy. My clit is swollen. I need to cum.
He begins to fuck me, he pumps my pussy a few times then pulls completely out. Then after a few seconds he plunges into me again. This tease is driving me crazy. Not being able to see, not knowing when he is about to enter me. The sensation is unbelievable. He enters me one more time and i am about to explode, he pulls out and straddles my chest.
"Open your mouth wench, and get ready. When i cum dont let any drip from your mouth!"
"yes my lord" He puts his cock into my mouth and i start to suck him off, then he cums. The taste is great.
After i have swallowed every drop he crawls off me and between my legs. I feel his tongue on my clit. Im about to cum good.
"My lord, allow me to cum"
"yes wench, its time... squirt for me... in my mouth"
I buck my hips as i begin to cum, I squirt into his mouth. He drinks up every drop.
After i am done he licks my pussy clean. And then kisses his way up my body.
His lips meet mine and we kiss. He pulls off the blind fold and unties my arms.
What a way to spend the evening.

Men equal Drama!!

Topic of conversation? Why are hetrosexual couples more dramatic than gay couples?
I asked, "Gay couples as in two men? because i dont really see too many overly dramatic lesbein couples.. well unless one of the lesbeins is a stripper."
He says, "well yea... cause i see more drama in hetrosexual couples than in all my gay relationships".
I say, "and what is the common denominator?? MEN" there for MEN equal drama.
Okay i know there are always women out there who cause drama but the catalyst is always a man.... i love my theories. heehee
so as we debate this theory while sitting in the middle of IHOP i notice that two tables full of young adults have now stolen our topic of conversation and made it their own. So i in turn i start to talk just a little bit louder in hopes that i can get more tables involved in this subject. I succeeded within 20 minutes i had the servers and two more tables discussing it. And then i change the subject. Completely and without warning. My friends all stared at me. "were we done with the topic?"
I say, "just go with me and talk about this now .. "
it was religion and the catholic stand against gays. We talked .. we debated. we elevated our voices. It was fun. Two tables down, a young couple started an arguement over gays in the catholic church. I laughed. my friends stared at me like i was crazy. I finally whispered to them to just listen to the people around us. We are controlled their conversation and i think thats funny. We laugh.
Then AJ (my best friend) got on my nerves. he cracks a joke about the game of prayer during catholic service. Catholic service??? "ummm AJ, please dont pretend as if you didnt attend church until you were 21. you know exactly what happens during MASS. its not scattagories. Not twister. Its mass."
Why it gets on my nerves. He's 29 and gay. he came out of the closet when he was 22. Lost his virginity and is now a raging whore. But because he is gay is has lost all respect for the catholic church. I get it. Church turns its back on you ... you turn your back on the church. The catch? God still exist and you will stand before him to be judged. he was rasied catholic and even went to private school... how does he lose all respect for the religion he was raised on and the religion of his family? All respect. There is nothing left. I am not judging him, I have my faults and my addictions, I too could be called a raging whore. but i know my faults and i know my sins. I know i will be judged. he has seems to have forgotten that. It gets on my nerves to know that he is worst off than i was on my worst day. He actually schedules his hook ups before getting into town. Needing that sexual high. Whats worst? he uses his sexuality as an excuse to continue that life.
then i remember, Hitting rocks never felt good. I stand and watch him as he falls. he actaully cancelled lunch with me to get in one last hook up before he left back home were his bfriend waits for him.. i hadnt seen him in almost 8 months .. wont see him again for another year. But he needed his fix. So down he falls. the rocks are gonna hurt.
I wonder if he'll notice them when he hits the bottom.

Round 2

Last night was round 1 of the compitition. We won. It was the first to 8 and we actually went the whole 15 games just to get our 8. It as amazing. A huge rush. And yes yours truly got to win the winning game. I didnt throw the winning dart but my partner did and he deserved it. It was great. I havent felt that type of rush in a long time.
So this weekend went well .. a friend of mine came in for a visit and it was great. Its the kind of friend that you can only appreciate the distance between you while you are together. I know that if we lived in the same city we would not still be friends. We have been best friends since high school. he moved away for college then out of state when he graduated. we email daily and talk once a week. Our friendship is great .. but only because we dont live near each other. If we did i wouldnt be able to stand him. He was here for the weekend.... it was almost to long of a visit.
I am wiped... the game lasted till after midnight and i didnt come down from the rush until 2. Im back at work by 9 .......................its slow and boring.
I get to do it all over again tonight for round 2.

Coffee Bar hoping

A little different from the usual bar hopping but still entertaining. My cousins and myself had been spending alot of time hanging outfor the last few months. Its always a blast. But in the last couple of weeks we just never had the same time off. Last night we finally got together. Went to dinner and laughed our asses off. Its always so much fun with them. We then went to visit my nephew and make sure he was safe in grandma's hands. My mothers hasnt been around a baby since i was one and that was 28 years ago. So when she babysits i tend to help out for a while. Feeding him and changing him. Putting him to bed. So she gets the easy part of playing with him ... talking to him in the "googoo gaa gaa .... ahhh goo goo gaa gaa" language. He is also ticklish so he laughs and laughs just at the slightest touch of his feet. Im the exact same way. I see alot of my characteristics in him. He is going to be great when he grows up. (hehe)
So then we set off to the tea room. There was a poetry reading going on and we thought it would be different from the usual pool hall and dart bars. We sat.. listened... drank our coffee.. well i drank an orange freezer. Poetry was too intense. But it was good. So we went off to another little outdoor coffee bar .. and we sat ... talked .. laugh .. and got strange stares. We must have been laughing to loud for the other customers. So off we went .. to another little coffee room. Noone there .. so we headed to IHOP for dessert. I am in lust. The waiter is hot. HE seems so shy and quiet mannered. So different from me. Then my cousin starts in on me....
"why is it that we can all hang out and if anything is strange going to happen it is with you ..and directed to you?"
It happens all the time. The story ....
we were driving down the road and a couple of guys pull up beside us .. one leans out of the window and ask ... "so baby .. wheres the party?" i laugh and replied .. "still looking". The light changed to green and we drove away. Another light and another couple of guys .. they pull up beside us .. i make eye contact .. and turn to continue my conversation... They continue to stare at me .. waiting for more eye contact .. then the driver rolls down his window and turns up the bass in his car ... it was a good system so i turn .. make eye contact .. he smiles .. I smile .. the light changes color. We drive away.
On our way to IHOP .. we are driving down a road .. i am looking out the back window and a couple of guys pull up besides us .. the passenger sticks his tongue out at me .. so i stick mine out at him... then he begins to give me a major tongue tease. and i return the favor laughing my ass off.
"did you know him?", my cousin asked.
i ask" who are you asking.... " she says .. "OH ... no ......(looking at me)....you have no right to even ask that question .. of all the things that happen you are the only one who could possibly know them .. or possible be the one they are trying to hit on"
So I laugh .. "NO ... i dont know them .. any of them .. they are just random drivers and passengers of the road .. it makes driving entertaining."
She ask .. "what is it about you that makes guys act that way?.................no one ever tries to pick me up while sitting at a red light... "
my other cousin .."yea me either....no one gives me a tongue tease through his window"
Me, "really ........it happens to me all the time"

Dream Works .. (again)

Ever feel trapped in a dream cycle. Every night the same theme appears in your dreams. That has been happening to me. I am a true believer that God does speak to us in our dreams and that every dream has a meaning. Now to figure out the meaning or the message. I just cant get it.
It begins with me waiting at a store. My brother and his gfriend appear with the kids. They hand over my nephew and take off to the pool at the end of the store. i slowly walk around the store and make my way to the back room. When i walk in i turn left and walk along the back wall .... there is a pool in the center that my brother and his girlfriend are swimming in along with her son. There is a door at the far end of the room and one to my right. I am now holding my nephew (who is still 2 months old) and talking to him. No wait im talking with him. And i am fully aware that its strange that he can talk since he is only 2 months old. He says something about the weather and i agree. At that moment i realize that there is a gang of men walking in from the far door. I place my nephew in his carrier and scoot the carrier behind my legs in hopes that they dont spot him. Another rival gang is walking in from the door to my right. They are facing each other and now i am completely blocked off from my brother. I am terrified. My body shaking and tears are beginning to form in my eyes. A gun goes off. I hold back my screams. I realize that noone was hit so i pick up the carrier and try to sneak out of the room safely. When i reach the door i turn back to look at what is now an all out brawl. Punches are being thrown knives are swinging and gun are being shot. When i look closer i realize that there are no blades on the knives and the guns dont have any bullets. Also at every punch contact is never made. I thought it was odd and walked out the door. I walked into what i acknowledge as my bedroom and begin to fix my hair. I run my fingers through it and make sure that its perfect. Then when i walk away from the mirror i look down and realize there is glitter covering the floor. I thought about it for a bit and realize that as i am running my fingers through my hair it begins to fall out .... in clumps. All of my hair is falling to the floor. I then fall to the floor craying and yelling. A woman i assume is my mother comes to hold me as i cry and i instantly knew that the time had caught up to me. I thought to myself .. i knew i would loose my hair and the time came that i did. I wasnt crying as to the shock of it all but the timing.
I then woke up.

666

June 6 of 06.............. any one scared? was anything weird going to happen. It began with a phone call. Exactly at 6 am. the voice was of a man... rugged and deep......
"i need to speak to damion's mother."
Me: "excuse me?"
Him: "DAMIONS MOTHER ... this is important .. the whole hospital is in trouble!!"
Me: "Damion? does he have a last name?"
Him: "Damion!! I need to speak to his mother .. " "your in danger!!!"
Me: "Damion?? im sorry sir .. to locate a parent i need the childs last name"
Him: "your in danger you are all in danger!! the child will harm you"
Me: "sir ... are you aware today is the 5th of june and not the 6th?"
He hung up on me... I got the call on monday.
yup a day early .. it would have been funny .. in fact it was .. even more that he wasnt aware the of the date.

So ...

I've been spending alot of time with my brother and new nepehew. ALOT of time. I love my nephew... He is the most gorgeous baby ever. But i am starting to get the impression that my brother only invites me over to get a break from the baby. I know its a bad thought. But honestly, he calls me daily. "come see the baby, come have dinner" I walk in the door and he hands over the baby and a bottle. "wanna feed the baby?" "wanna change the baby?"
And i feed him and i change him and i put him to sleep then his its his brothers turn. Time to read or play. Its fun .. i can read all the words in the kids books .. haha .. i become his hero.
I put the jigsaw puzzle together and he is instantly amazed. I wish it was that simple to amaze men.

But im wiped. Babies and toddlers take alot out of a girl.
Work still sucks. Old lady still not on her own... i dont know what to do. And even worse .. she is now getting on my nerves. She is now getting into my things. Looking through my drawers and papers. J is no longer causing trouble which is good and we have actually had 3 conversations that didnt end in an arguement.
A is cool again .. he has let go of the whole poop thing... and is coming over to hang out again.
That is great.
No more dates with "da baby daddy" ---- i guess it just wasnt meant to be. Oh well ...
I am now back in contact with my ex-husband .. he is good... seriously depressed but good.

Fat chics are not graceful.

I know there may be one fat chic out there who can ballet with the best of them. But in general, fat chics are not graceful. I was watching So you think you can dance. Its my fix now that american idol is over. The auditions are hilarious. One chic who should not have been showing all her stuff ... showed it all. In fact i believe there were two chics showing all of their graces. It was sick.
Aside from that work sucks, and still training the old chic. 4 weeks and still not on her own. How horrible. Today she decided to talk about dentures. DENTURES!!!! really??
Im 28 .. can we choose another topic?
But i couldnt think ... didnt know how to change the subject.
She off tomorrow .. wheeww... not sure i could have taken another day of it.
SERINITY NOW!!! heehee