A new year A new You
Time for think of how I would like the year to be.
There are so many thoughts that fill my mind through out the day but for some odd reason every time i sit down to type the randomness keeps me from being able to put my thoughts into words. There has been so many things going on lately, I keep hoping my life will some how straighten itself out.
The Professor has returned I assumed things would pick up where they left off, which is where exactly? In theory we are perfect for each other, In reality we have both been so hurt we will never proceed to the next step. Will it even matter? It would be interesting to find out if 5 months of talking texting and pretending would be as perfect in the real world. Perfection on paper is never as good as you think. So I simply answer the text as I receive them as the pretend relationship grows. Its kinda sad and funny all at the same time.
P has returned with loads and loads of promises, it almost makes me sick just listening to them. I hear him out mostly because I cant even form the words of all the things I would love to say. My daughter loves that he spent some time with her, but again he is gone as quickly as he came. Its amazing how a 10 month old can drive a man away simply from crying at 2 am. I was sick .. too sick to care for the kids I had no choice but to call for help. P came ... after all those promises he decided he was father material after all. Hummm ... yea I quess I didnt have to say much after all. He is gone again, promises and all.
The ex leaves in a few weeks, I cant even decide what to say. Ill miss him. He has gone before but I know this time its for good. How can I say good bye to someone so dear to me knowing it will be forever? I cant and so I havent said anything. Ill have a goodbye party for him ive decided but still dont think Ill be able to say much.
And so I sit thinking of all the things going on around me and my inability to say anything to anyone about any of it ... will anyone even notice the silence?
There are so many thoughts that fill my mind through out the day but for some odd reason every time i sit down to type the randomness keeps me from being able to put my thoughts into words. There has been so many things going on lately, I keep hoping my life will some how straighten itself out.
The Professor has returned I assumed things would pick up where they left off, which is where exactly? In theory we are perfect for each other, In reality we have both been so hurt we will never proceed to the next step. Will it even matter? It would be interesting to find out if 5 months of talking texting and pretending would be as perfect in the real world. Perfection on paper is never as good as you think. So I simply answer the text as I receive them as the pretend relationship grows. Its kinda sad and funny all at the same time.
P has returned with loads and loads of promises, it almost makes me sick just listening to them. I hear him out mostly because I cant even form the words of all the things I would love to say. My daughter loves that he spent some time with her, but again he is gone as quickly as he came. Its amazing how a 10 month old can drive a man away simply from crying at 2 am. I was sick .. too sick to care for the kids I had no choice but to call for help. P came ... after all those promises he decided he was father material after all. Hummm ... yea I quess I didnt have to say much after all. He is gone again, promises and all.
The ex leaves in a few weeks, I cant even decide what to say. Ill miss him. He has gone before but I know this time its for good. How can I say good bye to someone so dear to me knowing it will be forever? I cant and so I havent said anything. Ill have a goodbye party for him ive decided but still dont think Ill be able to say much.
And so I sit thinking of all the things going on around me and my inability to say anything to anyone about any of it ... will anyone even notice the silence?
posted by mekayla | 12:08 AM
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