and broken again

yup... had a horrible day today. had a huge fight with my mom over her hitting my daughter. Ok my daughter is 2 .. doesnt listen at all .. misbehaves and throws tantrums .. but does every 2 year old do that? we were at church i had her and the baby .. my mom was trying to calm her down and as i am getting my son i heard a smack .. right across my daughters thigh .. i didnt even know how to react .. everyone in the church turned and stared ... i couldnt believe it. I immediately had tears in my eyes. How dare she hit my daughter. My mother so quickly forgets that as her daughter i know how she can be. She use to hit us when we were little ... not spank but hit .... beat is more like it. Me and my sister got the worst of it. She beat us but doesnt remember. She doesnt remember me being molested either. uggh i was so mad .. i told her how mad i was and if she couldnt respect how i want to raise my child i would no longer leave my daughter with her. I am now left to find child care for my children elsewhere .. but who? yea i had to call P. ugggh!! i hated to do it .. i had tears in my eyes the whole time i talked to him. Asking if he would start keeping the kids .. i had no other choice .. noone else ... i am left to give up on so much of what i believe. I have to forget the hurt he has caused me and forget all of my pain and just put my children first. uugh!! broken again.... he said he would help ..with the understanding that he takes care of them friday saturday and sunday and buys formula diapers wipes when he can .. and in exchange i dont ask for child support .. is it fair? who knows .. will it work? i can only hope and pray that my children turn out ok. and that they will be safe in his care. i dont know what else to do .. i am broken .. and heart broken over it all.