uuugh!!!

I am usually fine. I have a pretty positive attitude. I try to see the brighter side of things. I am seen my future. I have accepted my present. I know what I have to do in order to be the best mother I can be. Every time i see his name or hear his voice I am instantly pissed! I cant help it i am so angry with him. I am so filled with hate! And its pissing me off that he can fill me with that much anger. I hate that he can effect me so much within seconds. I hate it! I know I am being a bitch to him but I just cant help it. Then I am instantly sad that I behave so badly. He may deserve it, but I dont want to be that type of person. ugggh!! P pisses me off!!! and I hate that I let him do it