losing the battle winning the war?

Is it even possible? So my situation has changed how ever does change who I am or what I am. I still have an addiction, I am still weak. My thoughts still controlled at every moment. Now I havent acted upon my wants or my needs in over a year. Well, maybe I have and just used P to satisfy myself. I would love to say that my actions changed the moment I found out that i was pregnant but truth is they didnt. I stop going to bars, but still had friends that would come by and visit. A stuck around me through out pregnancy. Was it sweet of him? Was it him wanting to step in and play hero again? Or just his wanting to take care of me again? Either way he was there to satisfy any need I had. After baby arrived I got involved with a friend of A's. I know it was wrong but I couldnt stop myself it happened .. it caused a major disfunction with me and A. We no longer talk .. he couldnt believe my actions. I couldnt believe my actions. He was by my side to the day baby was born and again the day i was released from the hospital and I betrayed him. It happens in this life. As much as I wanted to do right my him, by my daughter, and for myself my addiction got the better of me. AGAIN! When I finally had the guts to call it quits with the friend me and A were too far gone. A month later P came back into the picture and the drama has taken over. In between the drama we used each other to satisfy our sexual needs. Was it right? Is it better than going off with some stranger? Sex is Sex. If there is nothing more to it doesnt really matter who you are involving. And now I am left to myself .. I am trying to control it. I battle it everyday. Im losing. I want more .. I need more...
I will lose ... its just a matter of time