Dirty Laundry ...

So monday i am visiting my brother and his new fiance ... (nephew's momma) when i realize that its getting late. It was already 10 and i still had to go to the gym before i head to bed. I get up say its time to go and my brother responds,, "what gotta do laundry?" at which they both laugh .. I look at them and ask what i am missing because i dont see whats funny and i am actually headed to the gym. He says, "well we just wondered what 'laundry' was code for .. because it seems that you always have to do 'laundry'"
"umm... its code for i have dirty clothes and they need to be clean.... i do laundry once or twice a week???? " i still dont get it.
she says, "yea .. its okay .. we all have 'laundry' dont we?"
okay now im offended. i say to them .. "look if it was anything more than i would say that .. i dont lie or use codes for what i am doing..if i say i am going out, i am going out .. if i say i am meeting friends guess what, i am meeting friends .. if i say i will go to ihop . .. you can drive your ass to ihop and find me there .. if i say i am doing laundry you can be damn sure that i am doing laundry."
they looked at me shocked....
i continued, " i have my own battles that i am fighting right now and the both of you should know and understand it more than anyone, i have my own faults and my sins that i wont try to deny... but i dont need you two to make my everyday chores into some little dirty secret. if its your inside joke .. then keep it to yourselves .. but know that i dont appreciate you two turning anything that i do into more than it is .. thats very judgemental of the two of you to assume that i am doing something hidden." and i left.
so im cranky, my temper is running high .. its been 11 days since i have had any contact ...
I am trying ... i know 11 days seems like nothing .. but i have never gone that long between encounters. I am hurting .. and solo play just isnt working anymore ..
some people go months .. even years.. i will never understand how it works.. i am celebrating that i have gone 11 days ..

and counting ..
woohoo ..

baby steps .. thats all i can do right now.