My dirty little secret......

I AM CATHOLIC!!! Yup that's my secret. Shocking? Well it seems to be for most people who know me. Not so much that i am Catholic .. but i am a practicing Catholic. Yes, i said practicing. I go to church every week. I also sing in the choir. I go to bible studies and fellowship on Mondays, choir practice on wednesday and mass every Sunday. I have attended the real life, and numerous classes offered at the church. I read the bible almost daily and i pray every morning and every night. That little bit of information has led me to the most interesting conversations lately. Three topics with three different people came up that i just have to rant about ..
1.) Hypocrisy in the catholic church. it was told to me that its people like me that keep others from attending church. My friends friend feels that he just doesnt want to be surrounded by liars and hypocrites acting all holy on Sunday and then sinners the rest of the week. First off .. i have never EVER lied about my addictions or my faults. Yes!! I drink! I smoke! I have sex! I go to strip clubs for fun! I'm an addict! I go to church because i need it. I sing in the choir because if i didnt it would be so easy to make excuses not to go. If i didnt have the commitment to the choir it would be easy for me to fall away from the church. I need the church .. i need the strenth of the One who created me. Could you imagine what i would be if i didnt believe in God. If i led my life without any conscience? this led to
2.) Get out of Jail Free --- apparently some people (so i have been told that my religion is the best one to follow for this reason) believe that catholics can live their lives any way that they choose and simply go to confession and **boom** all is clean and forgiven. My friend believes that is the reason so many people follow the catholic faith. he is not catholic nor is he religious. he has never studied the catholic faith and for this reason i could not explain to him my thoughts and feelings on confessions (and make sense to him). Confession is not a get out of Hell free card. We are still responsible for living a grace like life and choosing what is right. I know i have done wrong, i know that i am responsible for choosing right. I know that i will be held accountable for all that i have done and will choose to do. Do i go to confession? Yes! Do i confess all my sins? Yes! I confess ............................
3.) Do you confess everything knowing that you will do it again? (i was faced with that question and actually had to take some time to think of a response) Yes! i do .. when i confess, in my heart i truly want to give up my worldly addictions. i truly want to become a better christian and a more faithful follower. I confess in hopes that i will win the battle against sin. (logically i know that i am human and prone to fail.. but with God by my side, i pray that i wont hit rock bottom everytime.)
So there it is .. my thoughts .... my feelings .. well at least on this topic.
This is me .. a catholic by baptism.. christian by faith. sinner by nature. Its been 9 days since i have been with anyone... Never have i gone that long. (Well except last lent and the lent before.) I dont ever give up sex for lent... i accidently give it up. Meaning i dont get into chat rooms... i dont go to bars... or clubs... i only hang out with close friends and relatives (i am aware that when i get together with certain friends that i will fall) .. its been a tough 9 days ..My intention for this lent was to give up sugar and regulate a diet in order to move towards a healthier life style. Woohoo... its been an entertaining week so far. i think i am feinding for sugar and sex.
Can'teven turn to chocolate for relief.
Oh well.........